This just in from a source I know very well…
“At a recent GOP Clown Show “Be Here Or Else” performance before the wonderful Koch Brothers, all the putative presidential candidates were informed that one of the first moves to be made on assuming office would be to eliminate Labor Day. “Labor hurts the bottom line,” said the Kochs, “and we do not celebrate anything that behaves in such an un-American fashion.”
“After a lengthy discussion of whether there should even be a holiday at all since holidays also have an impact on the bottom line, it was decided the new president would propose a different name and focus and all employees would be required to work overtime. “Minimum Wage Monday” was the leading suggestion but there was strong support for “Tax Inversion Day” and a huge round of applause for Burger King.
“No decision was made and the discussion moved on to destroying the environment for fun and profit.”
I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this account, of course, but you have to admit it’s no wilder than most of the screeching coming from Wingnut World these days.